LIFE  DECISION – A PORTAL INTO SELF HEALING.
 
I was watching a drama- playing on the stage of my life- so it seems.
I came closer to watch carefully- wandering-
WHOSE LIFE ARE THOSE?
The background setup looks familiar , so were the characters and the costumes; but…… did I really choose to play in this full of passion
Story? To be the victim? The rightous victim? Again???
It seems as I am walking through the labyrinth , reading from a written script , same passageways, entering the same doors achieving dead ends again.
 
It seems the wounds of the past are still being licked, not allowing this area of hurt to ever be healed as the feelings hurts too much.
And so it is that future experiences are based on the past- again……
 
It surely not the script I had written as a contract with my soul !!
I hear soft but strong cry from within- why? What happened on the path? How can it be?
AND THEN I REALISED :
 
At a certain point of our life time, probably during childhood;
we have made a Life Decision saying: we are not good enough !
The circumanstences might be different from one to another for
that kind of decision ; but the results are equal.
 
It happened while we were still young enough to remember who we are, were we came from and what is our life mission in this carnation on the planet.
The memory and inner knowledge of us being magicians, sorceres, witches and priestess, was a too heavy burden to be carried in the enviroment we grow up with and we had to hide our abilities, light, knowledge and “sight”.
Those powers had caused fear within the society we had been raised.
In worse cases, those among us who had suffered abuse of any form; had been acussed and condenmed to feel shame for their own beings.
 
At this point a Life Decision had been taken by us-
I’m as I’m is not good enough / not deserved / not worthy as I’m.
 
And the sword had turn it’s sharp  blade towards ourselves.
We became our own bitter enemy as we  covered ourselves with
a veil or a mask that made it possible to walk in this world hiding;
a veil which not allows us to walk our talk and to speak our truth –
the truth that can’t be heard.
 
We did all that , pretended to be someone else, in order to be loved, accepted, to be part of the family, the tribe, to be part and not excluded.
 
 
There was another side of the coin : I’m not good enough,
So it will be: I’m better than !
We needed to proof to the world that I’m better than….. whatever;
so I won’t be suspected for not being good enough !
The deeper aspect of this issue is that we had tought ourselves not to love ourselves as we are. We became our biggest own critics, judges, jurors and exeuters at the same time, not allowing ourselves to feel the full joy, abudance and love of life as we felt not deserved and condenmed.
 
There was a trick of the soul, leaving us a finger’s print, a reminder,
as a trigger who plugs us in and activate us when someone or something are pushing the trigger- reminds us of the decision we have made , opening a portal to look deeply within and make a different choice- to rechoose !
 
AND NOW THE CHOICE HAD BEEN REMADE:
LOVE! to ourselves- first of all !
Can we love ourselves and be loved for who we really trully are?
The completion of who I am for the better and worst and to be loved ?
And the question is:
Are we ready to unveil? To re-cover our masks? To rediscover our glorious pure love and light  soul?
 
I do stand in the portal of self love willing to be swept with this wave,
Choosing mirrors to reflect it in whatever comes into my life .